Learning: Gratitude

This one is half learning, half teaching.

Now that almost three weeks have passed since my graduation, I am (finally) about to mail out my thank you cards.

Now, after reading that, you are probably thinking one of two things:

a) Oh, thank you cards! That is so nice, no one ever does that anymore.

or, b) UGH! I hate thank you cards. So annoying.

If you are thinking a), you are probably either old fashioned or well, older. If you are thinking b), you're probably younger and a member of this technological age we're wrapped up in today. Now, I won't debate you on the fact that writing out thank you cards takes time, and that's something that I know I am always running short on. But it's not just an old fashioned gesture.

Over the past couple of years, I have had several occasions that have called for thank you cards -- my high school graduation, donations from friends and family for my trip overseas, and dinners and parties in the time between those. Now of course, my college graduation is a huge occasion, and I received probably 50 cards congratulating me on the achievement.

First of all, how nice?! It's been such a blessing to see how much the people in my life care for and are there to encourage me. Without my friends and family I am quite sure that I wouldn't have made it this far. That's where thank you cards come in. When you come to realize how much you have to be thankful for, writing out thank you cards is the perfect response.

So do it. Thank the people in your life, and not just when they send you a check in the mail. All the time, for all the little and big things they do for you or anyone else. You'll be better for it.

A Social Butterfly

Yuck! First of all, I find that phrase absolutely cloying. Social butterfly? No, thank you! Okay, it's not that bad, but there are better ways to state it, I think.

My thoughts today are on being an extrovert. I've mentioned it in passing before, but I'm an ENFJ. That's the classification from the Meyers-Briggs (Jung) personality test, which you should definitely take! Essentially, like any personality "test", you answer a series of questions, and it tells you what you are like, what tendencies you have.

Since women have a million quizzes thrown at them from the pages of every issue Seventeen and Glamour from the time they are 13, I've taken quite a few. However, the Meyers-Briggs is different, and in my experience, terrifyingly accurate. (In a good way...)

One of the ways it helps to define whether you are an extrovert or an introvert is by asking a question about how you relax: At the end of a long day, would you rather stay at home and unwind alone and quiet, or would you rather go out with friends and celebrate a day over?

I already knew I was an extrovert, just because I like to be around people, but this break, I realized the extent to which I'm an extrovert. Have a bunch of people over for a party? Lets invite 20 more people. Going out for a casual lunch with a couple friends? I'd like to invite six more people. When I am home alone (which happens more often during breaks, since my parents work) for more than a day or so at a time with nothing to do, I start to get crazy. CABIN FEVER!

I need to be around people to feel energized and renewed and happy. I proved it this break, and luckily, lots of my friends are extroverts, so I don't have to pester my poor roommate too much. She's an introvert. But we love each other anyway.

Have you taken the Meyers-Briggs? What are you? Has it helped you to understand yourself or others better?

(PS: RFP hit 3000 views! Thanks friends!)

Learning: Teachability II

Catch up on Teachability I, and then we can dive in.

I took the obvious first step and googled "teachability". What? You would do the same thing!

So definitions, then?
The Free Dictionary says teachability is the quality of being "able and willing to learn."
Merriam-Webster calls it the "ability to learn by instruction."
Dictionary.com (ah, that old standard) claims "capable of being instructed, as a person; docile."

As you can see, each is similar to the others, though "docile" is kind of interesting. But after the obligatory meanings of the word, that's when results start to get interesting. Most are related to faith -- things like the "character of teachability" or "maintain an attitude of teachability" or having a "teachable spirit". They are sermon series, bible studies and other resources.

You mean I'm not the only one? What a relief.

It seems that not only is teachability a little difficult to truly understand (those definitions say things, but what do they mean?), there are quite a few people in the world who struggle with it.

For me, the definition is like this so far: teachability is being able to recognize that you are being taught, consider the instruction and then appropriately incorporate that wisdom into your lifestyle. Being taught is a relationship and a process, not just someone telling you to do things.

Good! I'm feeling more positively about this already. I know I'm drawing this out, but I think it demands a lot of consideration, so I hope you'll take it as seriously as I am. Any breakthroughs on your end?

Learning: Why?

Hi.

How are you? Doing well? I hope you are.
Perhaps understandably, my last post was a little difficult to write and publish. Part of my stubbornness manifests itself in the form of wanting to seem like I've got it all together. I just want people to see that I can handle the things given to me, and do the tasks assigned to me with finesse.

So this post is even harder. The past few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about dating and relationships, and having conversations with a lot of people about those things. After having broken up with my boyfriend of five years in July, I casually dated a new guy. And then that kind of stopped, for various reasons: our personal goals and convictions are different, distance, and some other things I probably don't know about. And while I can reason that this is best, and it is what I actually want, I can't help but feel really deflated.

I've been thinking about that emotion, and telling people "Yeah, we're not gonna date, and that's probably best, but for some reason I'm really bummed." Most everyone just says, "Aw, that's tough. Sorry, " and gives that pity look -- you know the one.

So what? Why am I -- someone who is strong, smart, happy, and blessed -- feeling so helpless?
I think it comes down to how I relate to men.

I look to the men in my life to affirm, love, appreciate, lead, discipline, encourage and support me. Look at those things: they aren't bad, right? All positive elements of a good relationship. Except that the only place that I look for that is in men. Usually one.

Why?
I have a superb group of female friends and leaders, a supportive church family and mother, but for whatever reason, their attempts to fill those roles for me just seem to fall flat. Why?

Much to my dismay, I don't have the answer to that question. But I'm thinking about it, and praying about it. If you have any ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. It's gettin' real! Until next time, friends.

Learning: Teachability I

As my time as a college student draws to a close, I'm in the process of taking that next step -- getting a job. Part of the process to get the job I'm hoping and praying for (which is in ministry), is an interview in which some tough questions were asked about my spiritual life and my relationships. 

One thing that came up (and has been mentioned to me in different capacities in the past) was "teachability". 

 -- Is it telling that it's been brought up several times?

Maybe it's cultural, maybe it's because I'm the oldest child, maybe it's because my parents raised me to be independent -- who knows. In any case, I'm pretty stubborn. Which means that too often, I don't take advice and instruction and actually listen to it. 

I'll admit that this is sort of an exploratory post, so lets dive in, shall we?

Why wouldn't I listen to (and act on) perfectly good advice or instruction from people that I trust and have considered my situation prayerfully and lovingly? Maybe you've guessed it: there is no good reason. 

I'll be honest, it makes me feel pretty awful when I think about it this way. Really, it shouldn't be a shock to me, because like I said, it's been mentioned to me before. But really considering the idea that I'm doing a series of not-so-good things: disrespecting my friends and mentors, disobeying God, making avoidable mistakes, indulging my stubbornness, learning things the hard way, limiting my ministry; that list makes me feel like an idiot.

So I'm here to figure it out and get with the program. I'll end it here for this post, now that we're at ground-zero-of-stupid. 

Until next time, do you struggle with teachability? Do you know what teachability is?

Conviction: Recap

So, as you might have noticed, I didn't hit my goal of writing one post for everyday of the month of December.

However, my desire to serve, love and give more is renewed by learning so much about the world around me. In the next few weeks, I'll try to fill in the blanks of what was left behind! I think I owe it to you readers and myself to give you all the information on these important issues. It's been a real discovery and learning process for me and I hope you've learned some from it all.

A couple thoughts on not finishing, though: After having a few days of feeling miserable and miserly for not writing those few missing posts, I realized it's really not about me. Duh, right? What is important is being in frequent communication with God. It's a relationship that needs to be nurtured, and when things get busy and get in the way of that relationship, even the best of intentions can be twisted around. So though I would have liked to do great and hit every post spot on, it's God who is in control of everything (including this blog!) and so I think it'll work out all right.

Until those final posts come in, I hope you do the service you can, and your new year's resolutions involve you and big changes in your world -- fill me in!

Conviction: Role Models

In service as with many facets of life (Christ-focused and otherwise), there are a million role models to choose from. People you know, people in your family, celebrities?

I used to generally pin the label of 'Role Model' on older people -- women in my church who through years of practice exemplify the characteristics and attitudes that I want, people who have spent their lives traveling the world, people who are exemplary at what they do -- usually, they just had to be older, experienced and wiser people than me.

However (and please, excuse my slow uptake if you already knew this), age has nothing to do with being a role model.

Especially in this past semester, I have been around so many people who I have come to respect, admire and appreciate deeply. And you know what? Not one of them is over 30. I still do count many older people at my church and elsewhere as role models, but I've come to realize that that role model is more than a badge for doing well in your life by the time you are 50. The people that I want to emulate now encompass many of my friends: Elise: who serves constantly, with a schedule I know would knock me off my feet, Adriane: who doesn't gossip and doesn't even scold me when she catches me doing it, Amy: who is so motivated and resourceful but crazy and silly and fun... and really, that's just all I have off the top of my head. I'm friends with people who are wholeheartedly following God, and on top of the encouragement that is to do the same and love and serve the people in my life, mostly, it makes me proud to be friends with them.

Do you have non-traditional role models in your life? Share!

Conviction: Clean Water = Clean Bill of Health

Just a video today, but I know that learning how things actually help and work are very interesting. Makes it a little more real, you know?

Come back tomorrow for an interview with Three Avocados, a non-profit coffee company!

Conviction: Defined

To be honest, I titled this series "Conviction" without even really looking up what the word meant. That's a little embarrassing!

But while writing up some other posts, I realized that I needed to look it up. If I am asking you to be convicted, shouldn't I really understand what conviction is myself? I think so.

The 'connotation' or popular definitition of "conviction" for me boiled down to having a personal sense of commitment to an idea or issue. A feeling of being compelled to do something about an issue or idea. In this case, a sense that I need to love and help the people in this world. It's not a bad connotation, but I don't know what word that 'definition' belongs to.

The definition ('D' is for dictionary!) of the word "conviction" is as follows, borrowed from Dictionary.com:

con·vic·tion  /kənˈvɪkʃən/ [kuhn-vik-shuhn]
–noun
1. a fixed or firm belief.
2. the act of convicting.
3. the state of being convicted.

Not so far off, eh? But what I really like is when you get down to that third definition, where it notes the "state of being convicted" which you can then boil down to "convict" (we like losing the endings in the dictionary, right?) Check out the definition for that one:

con·vict   /v., adj. kənˈvɪkt/ [v., adj. kuhn-vikt]
–verb (used with object)
2. to impress with a sense of guilt.

To impress with a sense of guilt. Is that how you feel about what needs to be done in the world? Because for me -- man, oh man. I have the ability to do some much, to create so much change. And so do you.

Will you be convicted?

It's What's for Dinner.

No, not beef, although I do have a healthy and abiding love for it.

Am I the only one missing the meat around here? I know since I'm the author of this here blog, I'm the only one responsible, but I thought I would bring it up.

I'm feeling a little under-nourished, that my posts have been a little shallow.
But you know? It happens. October was a busy month for me, and I had a lot of Halloween posts set up for publishing, so I didn't do as many spontaneous postings, which are usually my favorites. (Are they yours? Or do you find my ramblings less interesting?)

So with that understanding, I'm hoping to get back a little more to what RFP is all about: growth.

I hope to return soon with some interesting posts, and I hope you are here to read! Please let me know if there is anything you want to know about or see my opinions on (though I admit I am an expert on almost nothing. But I love conversation!)

Leave a comment and feel free to heckle!

Learning: Funk

Have you ever had one of those days? The kind when nothing really goes wrong but you just feel like you are in a funk? That's the kind of day I'm having.

It was a good day -- beautiful weather, my hair came out right, work was easy and I organized some of my school stuff -- but I'm just feeling a little off! I am reading a new (non-fiction) book and someone died in the first 10 pages...

I know a lot of people have a method of knocking themselves out of it when they are in a weird mood, but I'm not sure what my method would be. It makes for a lot of creativity, I'll tell you that much! I'm doing a lot of pre-blogging research. Gotta be ready for Halloween, you know.

So I guess I'm here to ask you all: How do you get de-funked?

Teach me your ways, oh non-funky ones!