On Being Sincere

I've been thinking about language, lately. (English major, shocker!) One of the things that people really enjoy doing is correcting your use of language. When they ask how you're doing and you reply with "I'm doing good," they correct you with "Don't you mean you're 'doing well'?" A little grammar, that they feel like they are helping you with, right? (Just let me speak!) Or maybe you yell "I HATE STUPID DRIVERS!" while you are caught in traffic, and they ask "Do you really hate those people? Are you sure you aren't just frustrated with the situation?" (These people may also deserve an eye roll. Don't judge my driving habits!) They are questioning your sincerity, which may or may not be a valid question.

That's kind of the idea I've been stuck on recently. I say I love a lot of things. I'm talking a huge range, from "I love mint chocolate chip ice cream" to "I love your laugh." And I was thinking to myself, I need to be more aware of how I'm using that word, love. I can't just love everything, all the time! That's ridiculous.  But is it? Is it inaccurate for me to say that I love it when a friend uses my full name when they talk to me? Is it wrong to say I love the way the sun beams into my window right before it sets?

I don't think so. When I say I love something, I really, actually do. And a lot of times, when I tell someone I love something they do, or a conversation we're having, or a situation we're in, or something that is part of their personality, as cheesy at it might sound, I actually mean that I love them. I'm not talking romantically here, though. Love like the way you love your best friend, or your parents or siblings (when they aren't driving you crazy). Just truly, sincerely thinking that someone you know is a really awesome person who you want to be around as much as you can.

It seems to me that people are afraid of that in our generation. We don't want to say that we love anyone. Why? Are we afraid of rejection? That they might think we're weird, or awkward? I'm over that, people. I love my friends. They are weird, and nerdy, and hilarious, and honest, and caring, and crazy, and all around, the most phenomenal people I've ever known.

You know what I mean? :)

Long Time

No talk?

Hello readers! Are you still around? I hope so. If my friends' consensus is any indication, this semester is the hardest we've ever had, so that has a lot to do with my absence and perhaps yours.

Today, just some musings.

Recently, I've heard several people say that they don't need other people or a big building for a church. That they can have church, and be with God just as well on their own at home alone. While I don't see anything wrong with occasionally skipping out on church, lately I have come to realize the true and irreplaceable value of community.

I've experienced two specific instances of this lately.

Last weekend, some good friends of my were baptized at a local church. I've never been to a "baptismal service" before, like this one, where 6 people baptisms were interspersed with worship and prayer, but let me tell you, I'll never miss one again. Not only is it beautiful to see someone you care for show their obedience to God through baptism, but the community and sense of family experienced that night was magnificent. At one point, we were able to gather around and put our hands on the newly baptized people and just pray for them; that God would bless them in their obedience, praise God that he had led them into joy so far, and that their lives would be an example to others. It was electric. It was the first time in a long time that I have experienced real joy.

Last night I had another great community experience. After our InterVarsity large group, about 12 of us got together to watch a cheesy movie, had some delicious hot wings and once our movie was over, just talked and enjoyed each other's company. We spent probably an hour, which involved some great head and shoulder massages, just talking and laughing and being together. It was exactly what I needed.

So as far as I know, you can say that you are closest to God on your own, but I know that there is nothing quite like the love and joy you get from living your life with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Conviction: Defined

To be honest, I titled this series "Conviction" without even really looking up what the word meant. That's a little embarrassing!

But while writing up some other posts, I realized that I needed to look it up. If I am asking you to be convicted, shouldn't I really understand what conviction is myself? I think so.

The 'connotation' or popular definitition of "conviction" for me boiled down to having a personal sense of commitment to an idea or issue. A feeling of being compelled to do something about an issue or idea. In this case, a sense that I need to love and help the people in this world. It's not a bad connotation, but I don't know what word that 'definition' belongs to.

The definition ('D' is for dictionary!) of the word "conviction" is as follows, borrowed from Dictionary.com:

con·vic·tion  /kənˈvɪkʃən/ [kuhn-vik-shuhn]
–noun
1. a fixed or firm belief.
2. the act of convicting.
3. the state of being convicted.

Not so far off, eh? But what I really like is when you get down to that third definition, where it notes the "state of being convicted" which you can then boil down to "convict" (we like losing the endings in the dictionary, right?) Check out the definition for that one:

con·vict   /v., adj. kənˈvɪkt/ [v., adj. kuhn-vikt]
–verb (used with object)
2. to impress with a sense of guilt.

To impress with a sense of guilt. Is that how you feel about what needs to be done in the world? Because for me -- man, oh man. I have the ability to do some much, to create so much change. And so do you.

Will you be convicted?

Me and God

Today, I went to my chapter of Intervarsity's bi-daily prayer meetings for the first time. I chose the time that was best for me, since I'll go back every week, and I brought my bible and my journal along with me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect (other than duh, praying) so I showed up and sat down. After explaining what it was all about, and what we would be doing structure-wise, we prayed.

We prayed for a full half hour -- about God's glory and goodness, about friends that we want to be impacted by God, and finally about anything else that came to mind.

And you know what? It was great.

Though I've tried different ways to get myself to pray more often, being forgetful as I am makes it hard. If I try to pray before I go to bed, I just fall asleep, and I want my prayers to be sincere, not just routine.

That was the difference at the prayer meeting. As we prayed about God's mercy and creativity, I was struck by an interesting thought. I was in this place for one half hour, and all I had to do was pray. I didn't need to pray quickly so I could fall asleep, or pray before I did my reading so I could hurry up and get to class. I just got to pray, without limitations or worries distracting me. I was there to pray, and that was it. No agenda, just me and God.

If you can get to one of these bi-daily prayer meetings, I would highly, highly recommend it. Don't have them set up at your school, chapter or church? Start a trend, guys. It's really worth it.

Is prayer sometimes difficult for you, too?
(P.S. Have you heard that Josh Turner song about Me and God?)